The Middle Mile
by Cat329
Summary: Being stuck in the middle mile is the worst place to be. It leaves one debating whether to turn back, or to carry on.
1. City Love

**Disclaimer: I do not own any SON characters. All disclaimers go to Tom Lynch and The-N. I own the storyline, and my own characters.  
Title: The Middle Mile  
Rating: PG13-NC17**

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more" – Erica Jong.

I watched onwards as the colours danced across the screen, each one crashing with another. It was like looking into a kaleidoscope, none of it made any sense but it was still pretty to the eyes. My mind was somewhere else. My eyes flickered to the clock, slowly the blurred lines began to form numbers and time began to re-emerge. Impatiently, my fingers drummed against one another, no rhythm to them. It was approaching 9pm on a Friday and I was ready to call it quits for the night. Rising off the couch with a small stretch of my legs, I dragged my futile body to the only place of comfort I have. My room.

No one enters my room. That was my rule. My room was my domain; it was the place where I could be left alone without any traces of another human being. It was cold and empty and quiet – it was my life. The double bed I begged my mother to get me was now another place to highlight the isolation I felt. It mocked me every time I so much as glanced at it, teasing me and making me hate it even more. Centring myself in the middle of the bed I curled under the duvet into a ball and began to slowly drift off into a deep, peaceful sleep.

A low humming noise roused me from my slumber. Squinting into the darkness I rolled over to find my phone vibrating rapidly on the bedside table. My voice was hoarse as I picked it up and answered, not bothering to check who it was first.

I managed to croak out a "Hello" whilst trying to untangle myself from the duvet sheets that had created a faux cocoon around me.

"Ashley! What took you so long to answer?" Aiden's voice was slightly drowned out by the loud music thumping in the background, threatening to burst through the phone at any moment. He must've been calling for a while by the implication of the question he had just asked.

"Uhh I was just taking a quick nap." I was feeling more awake as the seconds progressed on further.

"Sure you were." There was a brief pause, I assumed he was searching for the question he'd originally rung to ask about.

"Listen I'm at this party and I think you should come over." His voice was rising as he said it, making sure I could hear him over the music.

I wasn't entirely sure that a party would be the best thing for me. I was still slightly groggy from just waking up, and I didn't particularly want to endure the mass crowds of drunken teenagers hoping to get laid with the first person they lock eyes with.

Aiden must've noticed the lack of conversation because he was quick to talk again. "Don't worry I'm already on my way to pick you up." Whatever happened to making your own decisions? I let out a low mumble of appreciation. "Oh and Ashley, make sure you're dressed. I don't want another naked surprise when I walk into your room. Au revoir."

I could tell he was trying to stifle a laugh through the words he just said, but before I could even make a witty retort I realised he'd already hung up. I let out a small sigh and soon began to make myself look presentable for when Aiden would show up.

One of the perks of living in L.A was that there was always some kind of party to go to. And if there wasn't, well then you could always settle for one of the many clubs. It made being lonely that little bit more bearable when you had so many other people to share it with.


	2. Good Love Is On The Way

Aiden pulled up in front of a large off-white coloured house. "Well, this is the place" he said with a pleased smile on his face.

"Whose party is this anyways?" My eyes scanned over the growing amount of people trying to fit though the front door.

"It's Derek's" I turned my head to look at him with a confused expression on my face. Who the hell was Derek? "Derek plays basketball with us on the team" he explained. Well, that certainly cleared things up. I'm always one for a party. But to turn up to one and not know the name of the host was just rude. At least I knew it now thanks to Aiden.

As we entered though the front door I was hit with the immediate smell of beer and smoke. This was definitely a senior's party. I made my way straight to the kitchen, leaving Aiden to socialise with his team mates, and various other students. The place was filled with testosterone charged boys who were probably drunk enough to hit on Cruella De Vil if she walked through the door. As for the females, well I was just doing my best to hide from the cheerbreeders.

I managed to grab myself a beer from around the other people crowding up the room. No one seems to understand the concept of personal space anymore. The party was already bordering lame, so I quickly downed my drink and poured myself another. There was no way I was going to leave; I mean really who leaves a party after just arriving? You at least have to make a good few hours' appearance. Besides, I'm not one to turn down free drink.

After my fourth beer was successfully swallowed it was beginning to take its toll on my bladder. Luckily, during the time I was drinking most of the people made their way to either the other dancing guests in the front room, or outside to play beer pong. Just as I went to grab the handle for the bathroom door another hand quickly made itself present instead. I was about to protest when I realised my eyes were slowly making their way from the hand in question to the owner of said hand.

Meeting my eyes were a pair of the purest cerulean coloured eyes I've ever seen. I took in the rest of the girl before me. She has long, silky looking blonde hair, about an inch or two taller than me, skin like porcelain, and she was wearing tight fitting jeans with a simple white tank top. It was such a simple outfit, but she made it look like you could wear it on the red carpet. It was hard to keep my focus on what I was really outside the bathroom for. Oh yeah, I needed to pee.

"Uhh sorry, but this bathroom's mine. I gotta pee." I may have been slightly taken aback by this girl, but nature calls first.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'll just wait." Her voice was slightly husky, with a very sincere tone to it. Her eyes cast downwards as she stepped back to let me enter the bathroom. I don't know why but I felt compelled to let her use it. So I did. I motioned for her to go ahead, to which she blushed slightly and said a quick thank you to me.

I didn't bother waiting around for the blonde beauty to finish up in the bathroom, instead I searched for another one, and luck was surely on my side – it was unoccupied. It took a lot of alcohol to actually get me drunk, but it only took a few drinks for me to need the toilet. I found the concept slightly funny.

Soon enough I found myself outside in the backyard, enough distance between me and the party that I could hear myself think and have a conversation without saying "what'd you say" or "pardon" every other sentence. I heard footsteps approaching me as I sat on a bench in the slight glow of the house light.

"Why are you out here by yourself?" Aiden's voice chimed in on my silent reverie.

"This is a pretty lame party" I said nonchalantly.

"Yeah I know, it's even worse for me, I'm designated driver. No alcohol." He said with a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Take me home Aiden. I don't wanna be here no more."

And with that he took me by the hand and was leading me through the house, towards the direction of where he parked. On my way out I locked eyes with the blonde beauty again who was casually in conversation with some guy leaning up against a door frame. The whole time we never once tore our gazes from each other until we were separated by a white front door.


	3. No Such Thing

Monday quickly made its arrival, which meant that I had to endure another day of pissed off teachers, annoying teenagers and of course the cafeteria 'food'. I really don't think that it should even be place into the food category if it's barely edible. I mean honestly, it's just gross.

I was already running late so I opted on driving rather slowly to school to waste more time. Although I knew it'd come back to bite me in the ass when I couldn't find a parking spot in the shade. Pulling up into the school parking lot I managed to scout out a spot in the shade. Unfortunately for me though it was pretty much the furthest spot from the building, which contributed more to my lateness. Well, at least I now had a good excuse... someone stole my parking spot.

Over the years I had gotten pretty good at avoiding the teachers who'd call me out on my lateness. And today was no different. I think that the many years of playing hide-and-go-seek with my sister Kyla as children helped prepare me for high school a lot more than I thought it would.

Lunchtime rolled around after what felt like forever. I was late for that as well. But that's only because my Spanish teacher, Mrs Rodriguez, decided she'd waste ten minutes of my lunch period threatening me with detention if I didn't hand her essay in that was due five days ago. Okay, so I guess she had a point there. But I had a good excuse. Kyla ate it. Mrs Rodriguez didn't appreciate that excuse five days ago, and she sure didn't appreciate it today. I may have to work on some better excuses.

After the ten minute lecture from Mrs R I headed straight for my usual lunch table in the quad where I knew both Aiden and Kyla would be waiting for me. To my surprise there was only the petit frame of Kyla sat at the table, munching rather slowly on an apple as she read some form of magazine – a celebrity gossip one no doubt.

"Where's Aiden?" I immediately said. Kyla jumped a bit at my abruptness, causing her magazine to fall to the floor.

"Nice to see you too Ash" she bent down picking up the recently dropped magazine. Flicking through it she whined "Oh man, you made me lose my page." I shook my head at her with a slight smile, knowing she was too engrossed at finding the article she was previously reading to see.

"Kyla, do you know where Aiden is?" I tried again, hoping it came off more polite this time.

"Oh he said he'd be right back. Something about a hot cheerleader he had to talk to." Kyla said indifferently.

"God, can't he just choose someone else rather than Madison. Surely there must be another girl willing to put out for him. Madison's a total bitch." I think I got a little carried away. But seriously though, Aiden could have pretty much any girl he wanted, why'd he have to go for the queen bitch. Kyla just shrugged in response going back to read her magazine. I rested my head on my arms on top of the lunch table and shut my eyes for a bit. It was relaxing.

The light behind my eyelids soon turned dark and just as I was about to tell Kyla off for standing in my sun I noticed it was Aiden instead. He just continued standing above me with a huge smile on his face aware that I was now getting no sun because of him looming over me.

"Where've you been?" I asked him rather casually. I didn't want to make it seem as if I was waiting on his return.

"Ash, Kyla I want you to meet someone. This is Spencer." It was only then that I noticed the figure of a girl beside him. My blonde beauty from Friday night stood slightly nervously shuffling from foot to foot, and I instantly found myself wondering why she was so anxious looking.

Kyla immediately jumped off the table and said "I'm Kyla, Ashley's sister", and just as Spencer went to put her hand out to shake it, Kyla embraced her, in what can only be described as a bear hug. Spencer just stood there rather dumbfounded by the gesture. After what seemed like forever, Kyla loosened her hold on the girl, and was wearing a beaming smile. I was confused at Kyla's behaviour towards Spencer. I mean, I've never seen Kyla so... forward with another girl.

Aiden glared at me, obviously expecting me to introduce myself as well. I didn't particularly want to be caught eyeing up the girl before me so I let my gaze focus on something off in the distance. "I'm Ashley" I quickly mumbled. I held out my hand in an attempt at not to be too rude, and I noticed that Spencer bit her lip as she hesitantly took my hand in hers.

An electrical current ran straight from my fingertips and expanded to all parts of my body. At first I thought she was wearing one of those practical joke hand shocker things, but then realised I realised that she wasn't a seven year old boy with no other tricks up his sleeve. I quickly yanked me hand away from hers and as Spencer, Aiden and Kyla all frowned at me I managed to mutter something about an electric shock. I'm pretty sure it was one of those one sided electric shocks, you know, where the other person can't feel them, they just give them.

We all once again found residence at our table with a blonde as a plus one. Aiden, Kyla and Spencer were doing most of the talking whilst I was flicking though music on my IPod. I wasn't really acting any different from any of the previous lunches I'd shared with Aiden and Kyla. They've always been the talkative ones. Occasionally I'd pause my music so that I could hear what Spencer was saying, no-one seemed to notice, or if they did then they didn't call me out on it, for which I was thankful for.

It was coming up towards the end of lunch when I overheard Aiden asking Spencer out. To which she agreed. Seriously, he'd known her for like a few hours and was already making a move on her. Aiden was a typical boy, he always wanted to 'mark his territory' which of course meant getting into girls pants as quickly as possible. I mean sure me and him would always joke about our overactive sex lives, but at least I had the decency to be up front with the girls I'd sleep with. Aiden would always butter them up, and then leave them high and dry.

Looking over I saw that Kyla had a look of disappointment across her face and I couldn't understand why. Whatever, I'd talk to her later about her issues when I could spare her a few hours.

The bell sounded and we all rose off of the table. Aiden, Kyla and I all had separate classes, so we were all heading off in different directions. I had no idea about Spencer's class schedule, she was new after all. I had English with Mr York and I was pretty sure I owed him an essay on Hamlet... damn.

Not wanting to endure another lecture about my homework (or lack thereof) I instead decided to cut the day short and go home. Like I said, Kyla and Aiden both had different classes to me so they wouldn't know that I skipped. Besides, I'm pretty sure they already know I don't turn up for the majority of my lessons.

I began walking in the direction of my English class with Aiden and Spencer in tow beside me. Kyla had already dispersed to her own classroom a few seconds ago. I was left wondering whether Spencer or Aiden would be the next to leave for their class direction. I inwardly cursed as I heard Aiden saying a quick "I'll see you guys later" to us as he too took off with the crowds.

"Crap! Sorry but I forgot my class was actually back there" I said motioning behind me with a thumb out like a hitchhiker. That was some very quick thinking by yours truly.

"Oh" was all Spencer said in response. I noticed the small frown that made its way upon her brow, and I began to wonder if she could tell I was bullshitting. I shook the thought from my head, in an attempt to cloud up her judgement on my lying. Spinning around quickly on my heel I started walking rapidly in the other direction, leaving a confused and bewildered Spencer standing alone in the busy hall.


	4. Assassin

Ditching wasn't as much fun as I thought it'd be. And although I'm sure I made the right decision, I should've at least asked someone to ditch with me, because sitting on the couch flicking through music channels isn't all that fun if I haven't got any company with me.

It was approaching 3:30pm and I knew that at any moment Kyla and Aiden would be back soon. Aiden pretty much spent as much of his free time round here as he could manage. He says it's because his parents are constantly nagging him, which through my eyes is understandable why he'd want to escape. But part of me thinks that maybe he has other motives for spending so much time here. Whatever, I'm not complaining.

Kyla and I've never had to really deal with the whole parents nagging us thing. But that's mainly because our dad died when I was 15 and she was 14. It was a hard time, and my mother, Christine offered no compassion or sympathy to either of us. The only thing she was worried about was her inheritance.

Of course, it did help knowing that he also left both Kyla and me over 10million each. But once again Christine had to have her say; she made sure we were unable to touch it until we would be 18. In all honesty, I'm glad she said that because I'd of probably spent it all by now on sports cars and a first class plane ticket to anywhere away from her.

Christine is rarely home. She's usually out with the next rich guy she can seduce and then sponge off of. So our house pretty much only accompanies Kyla and me. Oh and Aiden when he's had one too many to drink and forgets where he lives, or when he's just too plain lazy to go back home. He said he prefers staying here but I can't understand why.

Our house isn't a home. It's not got baby pictures on the walls; there aren't drawings or A+ essays on the refrigerator (although I have never gotten an A let alone an A+), there's no board games kept around, and I'm pretty sure the only time we've used the dining room is when Kyla had her first Christmas with us when she was 10 year old. Then our dad began to love the job more, which meant he spent less time with us, which then led to Christine parading other men in front of us so she could feel 'loved' by a guy who was around more often. Yeah right.

Loud banging on the front door shook me from my reverie. Rising off of the couch I made my way to the foyer and sung the door open with more force than necessary. I was met with both Aiden and Kyla in the middle of what seemed to be a heated discussion. It wasn't quite an argument, but then again it wasn't all friendly either.

"I'm just saying, can't you find someone who isn't Miss Bring It On to date" Kyla said with a hint of venom in her voice. Ahh, she was on about the cheerbreeders. Yep, Kyla and I share our hatred of them. Besides, it's a mutual feeling, we don't like them, and they don't like us. Simple really.

"Kyla, first of all you don't even know her so you have no right to be so judgemental. And secondly, she's hot okay? Dating her will only help to boost my rep." I really thought Aiden had a point when he first started talking, and now he's just shot himself down with the last part of that sentence.

I left them to carry on bantering as I walked to the kitchen to grab three bottles of water. Thankfully it seemed to have dissipated when I made my return to the front room, putting two bottles on the coffee table and opening one to take a sip from.

"So Ash, how was your afternoon?" Aiden asked me complacently. Kyla just reached over to grab her water with a calm expression.

"Uhh yeah, it was umm... okay." I made sure to answer casually, although my stuttering didn't seem to help.

"You skipped English." It was a statement, one that I'm not sure how he figured out.

"Oh yeah, I just didn't wanna deal with Mr York again" Aiden knows that the guy is out to get me, or at least that's what I've told him time and time again. "How'd you find out? I thought you had Health." Unless, he skipped too, in which case I should be telling him off, because from me it's kind of expected, but from him it's not.

"A friend in your class tipped me off" he said this with a wink and then tapped his nose. Did he think that was cool? It really wasn't. I should tell him that sometime.

"Oh really? Well then I'll need to know who it is so that I can threaten to beat them for giving the game away."

"Nope, let's just say a little birdie told me." Our cryptic talk was beginning to bore me, and I knew that Aiden would go along with whatever I said so it wasn't all that fun anymore.

I opted for a subject change. "So who were you and Kyla talking about beforehand?" Yes, I was being nosy, but there are no secrets between us three so I knew one of them would tell me. I chanced a look at Kyla seeing if she would be the one to break, she just continued drinking her water with a slight frown on her face.

Looking back to Aiden with my best 'tell me or I'll beat you face' I knew he was about to spill the beans. "Oh we were talking about Spencer." He said it like it was no big deal. Wait a minute, they were talking about cheerleaders not blonde beauties.

"Spencer's not a cheerleader" I say this with conviction in my voice. But it soon disappears as I ask Aiden the next question. "Is she?"

"Yeah duh. I mean, that's why I said I had to talk to a hot cheerleader at lunch... meaning her. Who'd you thought I was talking about?"

"Madison." I say it as plainly as possible.

"Oh well she's out of the picture for now. I've got my sights on a certain blonde beauty." Well, at least I knew I wasn't the only one who could admire such magnificence.

With Aiden calling her that, something inside me felt unsettling. I'm not sure why though. I knew what he was like. I knew that he'd take her out for a few dates, wait until she puts out and then go back to one of the many other girls he'd screwed or find a new one. I knew this all too well, so why did I feel protective over the idea of it being Spencer?


	5. In Your Atmosphere

**A/N:** Sorry for the lack of updates I've been really busy with exams lately, but hopefully updates will be more consistent. Thank you for your reviews and taking time to read my story, you're wonderful people.

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I'm an ass. I completely forgot that I had English again today, which of course means that yesterdays skipping shenanigans is going to land me in detention with another lecture form the principal on my punctuality.

There was a time long ago when I actually used to show up for all my classes and on time as well. But soon I realised that the problem with punctuality is that nobody's there to appreciate it. Besides, I'd much rather be hated for my tardiness than loved for my promptness. Yeah, I pretty much took that from another quote and just applied it to my own situation. I figured it works for me.

Last period is always bittersweet for me. On the one hand it means it's the end of the day and I can go back to relaxing with Kyla and Aiden, but on the other, I never have the brainpower to listen to anything and so I tend to waste my time by doodling in my notebook.

As I enter the classroom I spot my seat and go to head directly for it. It's at the very back of the room right next to the window, and in my opinion it's the best seat in the entire class.

Mr York isn't in today, thank God, and so we've got some substitute instead. Unfortunately for me and the rest of the class he's set some reading essay assignment type thing to do. However, on the plus side, it's not due until next Monday so I've got just under a week to complete it, which means that I can doodle as much as I like and listen to my IPod until the bell goes.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a faint movement in the seat next to me. For any other kid this may seem extremely normal, but considering no one has sat in that seat since Drew Williams got expelled last semester, I found it a little odd.

Turning my head just a little more to the right, I saw none other than Spencer sat there with her pen in hand drawing patterns on her own notepad. I inwardly smiled. Well, I was glad that it wasn't only me who found this class just a little boring.

I quickly turned my head in the opposite direction now facing out the window again. I didn't need Spencer thinking I was some kind of freak with a staring problem.

I wasn't sure how long I sat and watched the world go by outside. And it wasn't until a small neatly folded piece of paper landed on my desk that I became fully aware of my surroundings again.

Tearing my gaze from the paper I looked around the room to see everyone in their own little worlds, doodling, texting, passing notes and even a few of the students were sleeping. The sub was way too busy reading some magazine and drinking her coffee to bother with actually teaching the class. I couldn't blame her, I'd do the same.

My attention went back to the paper now held in my hand. Opening it up I was met with some unfamiliar handwriting.

**What're you listening to? – Spencer**

Her handwriting was perfect. She didn't draw silly love hearts above her I's, it wasn't messy or unreadable or too small that it may as well be Braille. No. It was perfect.

**I didn't know you were in this class? **

It was my lame attempt to basically ask her why she was here. I quickly folded the note back up and placed it on her desk.

Within a few moments the note was back in my desk waiting to be opened. I complied.

**That's because you skipped yesterday's class. - Spencer**

Damn her for noticing. I was hoping she'd of forgotten my hallway mishap. Obviously not, and she obviously now thinks I'm some frequent truant that hates literature. Okay, the truant part is true but I don't hate literature – at least not completely.

**Yeah well I needed some 'me' time. It's hard being this fantastic and not taking any time off for myself.**

At that point I was half expecting her to stop talking to me for seeming so big headed. But she didn't. We continued passing notes for the rest of the class. Of course I was mostly prying to find out more about her, her family, where she grew up etc.

I was doing the best friend duties, you know, finding out stuff about the girl he's into so he can use it to his advantage later on. We used to do it for each other all the time when trying to pick up a hot chick.

But this time I didn't want him to just be given information so he could use it to get into Spencer Carlin's pants. This time I wasn't even sure if I liked the idea of them going out on one date. She was different. And the thought of Aiden and Spencer together made me nauseous, envious and disappointed.


	6. I'm On Fire

You know when people say thirteen is an unlucky number? Well they obviously haven't met seven yet. Because that's all it took. That simple, unholy number was the exact number of dates that Aiden and Spencer went out on before they became 'official'.

And what's worse is that now Kyla and I have to endure the walking in on them making out scenes, or the endless talk about how great Spencer is. I mean I don't doubt for one second that she isn't great but I just don't like hearing it coming from Aiden's mouth with such adoration.

Walking into the kitchen I found Kyla sat on a stool and just finishing up a conversation over the phone. She ended with "See you in a bit" and then placed the phone upon the counter by a bottle of half drunk water.

"Who're you seeing in a bit?" I asked Kyla out of sheer curiosity. She could be rather cryptic at times.

The corners of her mouth formed a slight smile. "Oh that was Aiden. He wanted to see if we wanted to watch some DVD's with him."

Aiden always watched DVD's at our house because we had the huge TV for it with surround sound. He said it gives the films more of a 'cinematic' effect. I then told him that he could just go see them when they come out in movie theatres with the same 'cinematic' effects. He then said that 1. He wasn't gonna pay their prices for popcorn, and 2. He'd rather spend his time with two gorgeous ladies instead of sitting with his younger brother watching some Shrek crap. I don't get him, I loved Shrek!

"He said he'd be over in about twenty minutes" Kyla continued talking, aware of the fact that I was in my own reverie. "He's also bringing Spencer with him." She rolled her eyes and then shot me a not-so-sly glance, obviously waiting to see my reaction.

"Whatever" I said as I took a sip from her water and then passed it back to her. Oh yeah! I was able to pull off nonchalant too. I headed up to my room and told Kyla to come get me when they arrived.

I was beginning to think that Kyla had forgotten to get me when a knock at my door startled me slightly. "Well it's about time" I said as I swung the white wooden door open.

"Oh I'm sorry for keeping you and Kyla waiting." That was certainly not Kyla. I didn't blink, move or say a word because I didn't think I could. "Aiden drives rather slowly which is kind of why we're a bit late" she said offering me a smile.

"No... no it's alright. I uhh actually thought you were Kyla" I gave her my best sheepish look hoping she'd understand that it was my way of apologising for my previous outburst at her.

"Oh well she's busy making the popcorn so she asked me to come get you. I'm sorry if you were expecting her instead." Okay, so _she's_ apologising for Kyla's laziness? I involuntarily smiled at her adorableness and her mannerisms.

"Spencer" she looked straight at me, I think we were both aware that it's the first time I've ever spoken her name. She continued looking at me with a small smile gracing her features. "You don't need to keep apologising."

"Sorr- okay then" she quickly corrected herself and then let out a slight laugh.

Making her way past me she entered my room and began looking at all the posters on my wall. She traced the outlines of some of the posters with her index finger. "Aiden told me you were a music junkie, but he failed to mention you were such a big fan of the ladies."

I gulped. I actually physically gulped at her words. What was I supposed to say to that? _Yeah I'm totally gay which is why I've got bikini clad women all over my walls._ Somehow I don't think that'd cut it.

I could say that they belong to my last boyfriend. Even though the last boyfriend I had was back in seventh grade and I ended up giving the guy a black eye for trying to kiss me. Spencer wouldn't need to know how long ago that was, I could just say it ended rather abruptly and he forgot to take the posters with him. It wasn't a complete lie I guess, it did end suddenly – for him.

Luckily, Spencer started talking about something else so I don't think she was expecting an answer from me. Thank God, because I truly don't think I could've given her even one word let alone a coherent answer.

She made her way over to Betty, my black Fender CD-60 named after the Ram Jam song Black Betty. It used to belong to mine and Kyla's dad but he passed it on to me because I'd begged him for it for three years. Kyla didn't mind, she got backstage tickets to see NSync in concert.

"You play guitar?" Spencer asked as she tilted her head towards me. Okay, I really don't think I've seen a better picture than Spencer sporting that adorable head tilt.

"Uhh yeah my dad taught me" It was the first time I'd spoken in what felt like forever and I could still feel the elephant in the room from before. She stroked the strings and the welcomed sound of my guitar reverberated across the room. Seriously what's with her and touching everything?

"Care to give me a little preview of your talent?" Oh God, she wanted me to play for her!

I was panicking on the inside. I wanted to play for her really, but I knew that if I did I'd totally mess it up and look like a complete fool. "I'd rather not."

"Oh come on, why not?" Damn she was persistent, and she had a very convincing pout.

"I uhh only play for pleasure by myself" I was aware that I got a horrible stutter every time spoke to her.

She then raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me with a devious grin and said "Oh I'm sure you get great pleasure out of playing with yourself."

And with that she winked at me and began to make her way back downstairs to her awaiting boyfriend. I was left stood in the middle of my bedroom in need of a very cold shower.


	7. New Deep

That night was the worst of my life. Seated no more than 3ft away from me were Aiden and Spencer being all amorous with each other. It sickened me.

I mean they weren't exactly all over each other, but I didn't miss they way Aiden would pull Spencer into a deeper embrace whenever there was a scary part. And he was the one to pick out _The Hills Have Eyes_ so he knew there would be plenty of damn 'snuggle time'.

Oh and every time she'd escape his cupid chokehold he'd gently rub her thigh with his thumb and smile at her. It was revolting that he was trying to put the moves on Spencer whilst me and Kyla were awkwardly sat just a few inches away.

Although, I must praise Kyla at some point because if it wasn't for her constantly asking Aiden for the popcorn I'm sure things with him and Spencer would've gotten a lot more cosier. I'm pretty sure she was purposely interrupting, kudos to her.

After watching _The Hills Have Eyes 1 & 2 _Aiden and Spencer soon made their departure after giving both Kyla and myself a hug each.

The week went by pretty quickly and as Friday night made its arrival I was ready to hit up some of the local nightclubs with Kyla and Aiden.

Unfortunately Aiden wanted to bring Spencer as well but he didn't want to take her to, and I quote "some over-priced club where sleazy guys will be hitting on my girl left, right and centre."

So as usual we went to some friend of Aiden's house party where there was loud music, beer and plenty of men and women. I felt like pointing out to Aiden that it was pretty much the same as a club minus the "over-priced" part.

Aiden and Spencer rode in his car and I drove Kyla in mine. Sure it probably would've helped global warming if we'd all travelled in one car but both Kyla and I were getting a little frustrated with Aiden's endless talk about himself, basketball or Spencer.

As soon as we arrived Kyla went to 'inspect' the guys. I was then left with the lovebirds so I quickly made my escape through the crowds of people to 'inspect' some of the ladies and get myself a beverage.

I made sure to grab myself a beer and immediately I began to unwind a little. The party actually turned out to be alright, I managed to score myself a little mouth action and some fondling with a hot chick called Jenna and the music didn't totally suck.

"Hey Ash. Hey. Can you give Spencer a ride home?" Aiden yelled as he interrupted my make out session with Jenna.

"What the hell Aiden! I'm in the middle of something very important" he clearly did not understand the urgency of the situation.

"Can you give Spencer a ride home?" he repeated.

"Why can't you give her a ride? She's _your_ girlfriend." I was aware that I was being rather selfish, but the truth was that I didn't really care. This was the first time that I could really unwind without having to worry about the consequences. I was being reckless and it felt good.

"Look Ash I would but I've gotta get home to help my parents out with something." Was he guilt tripping me? Using his parents as an excuse? Damn him!

Sighing I reluctantly agreed. As soon as Aiden left I made my way around the house to locate Spencer's whereabouts. But not before apologising to Jenna and then acquiring her phone number.

I managed to spot Spencer sat out in the back yard on an old wooden bench. "So uhh what time am I supposed to have you home by?"

"I need to be back by midnight if that's okay with you?"

I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was already 11:47. I inwardly cursed realising that we should probably leave now if Spencer wanted to get home on time.

"Sure that's fine. Umm we best get going now then." I gave one last look back at the crowded house and made my way to my car with Spencer in tow.

The drive was quite with the exception of the soft sounds of John Mayer coming through the stereo and Spencer giving me directions to her house.

I pulled up to the curb and left the engine running expecting Spencer to unbuckle her seatbelt and head inside. She didn't. She sat awkwardly held in place by her seatbelt looking the most vulnerable I've ever seen her.

"Thank you for the ride Ashley" I was also aware that that was the first time she had spoken my name since we met.

"Uhh sure thing" I wasn't sure of what else I could say to that so I just left it at that simple statement.

She opened her mouth to speak again but just as quickly shut it. Damn I hope she wasn't about to say something important.

I looked at her quizzically. "What?" she said at my expression, obviously not understanding it.

"What were you going to say?" I was intrigued by her and whatever she had to say.

"Well I was going to ask for your number" oh.

"Oh" seriously that was the best I could muster up? How lame could I be? I didn't know whether she was now asking for me to give it to her or whether she was just saying it.

"I might need to call you if I need to get in touch with Aiden or something." Wow she really knows how to build 'em up to break 'em down. "Plus I'd like to hang out with you more, you seem nice."

She silently handed me her phone and without hesitation I typed my number in and saved it. We both let a smile form on our faces and I felt all of the tension leave my body right then.

"Well thanks for the ride, again. Have a good night Ashley." And with that she unbuckled her seatbelt and exited out of the car. Just as she was about to close the door I managed to say "You too Spencer" and was awarded a smile in return.

She made her way up the path and into her house. I sat still for a moment in the car, reflecting on everything. Spencer actually asked for my number and I honestly don't think I could've been happier.


	8. Belief

"Ashley... Ashley... Ash wake the hell up!" Kyla really didn't get the hint that I was trying my best at ignoring her 6am wake up call.

"Idsdooerdy" I retorted back into my pillow.

My eyes were still closed but I knew that I'd never be able to get back to sleep again. Kyla decided to open my curtains, knowing full well that the sunshine would be streaming right onto my face.

"What? You make no sense Ash." She was damn right I made no sense. Who in their right mind can make sense at 6am? I'm pretty sure even Einstein had a lay in every now and again.

I opened my eyes, squinting at the rays of light as they danced their way across my room and illuminated everything. "I _said_ it's too early."

Kyla let out an exasperated sigh. "Ash it's 11am and time for you to get your lazy ass outta bed."

Okay so maybe I was five hours behind, but still, 11am isn't exactly a good lay in. Sleeping in until 3pm is a much better lay in.

I'd lost the battle. I knew it as soon as that light hit me on the face that I could not just fall back to sleep again. It was too damn bright!

About an hour and a half later I was showered and dressed. How's that for an achievement? People should just call me Speedy Gonzalez.

Of course Kyla complained that a shower should not take 50 minutes, and that picking out skinny jeans and a t-shirt does not take 40 minutes. I told her that deciding what to wear is extremely hard when you've got more clothes than Ralph Lauren's entire clothing collection. It was a bit of an exaggeration but she got my point and soon shut up.

"So did you have a good time at the party last night?" Kyla asked through a mouthful of poptart.

"Yeah it was _great_." I used my best sarcastic voice and gave Kyla an eye roll for emphasis.

She furrowed her brow at me "What happened?"

"Aiden dumped Spencer on me 'cause he had to help his parents out with something. So I had to leave the party early because Spencer had to be home by midnight."

"What is she like Cinderella or something?" Kyla said between laughs. I laughed too at the thought of it as well and we fell into comfortable silence.

Grabbing myself an iced tea from the refrigerator I sat next to Kyla on one of the stools. "So did you have a good time last night?"

"Sure. I met a guy, he bought me a few drinks, and then I made him give me a ride back. So I didn't have to pay for anything, which was great!"

"You're such a tease Ky. I bet the guy was really into you and you left him high and dry." I shook my head at her with a slight smile on my face.

Kyla shot me a glare with a raised eyebrow. "Really? _You're_ going to call me the tease? You're always the one to lead vulnerable women on for a good time Ash." Her tone wasn't out of anger or annoyance or even frustration. It was of concern, all for me. And I couldn't help but realise how glad I was for having Kyla in my life.

"Whatever." Of course I wouldn't tell her that and seem like a pansy. "So what'd you wanna do today then?" I asked her, hoping she'd have some kind of plan of action so I wouldn't be too bored.

"Oh well actually I've got a late lunch date with destiny so you're on your own kiddo."

"Who's the lucky guy?"

"His name is Esryn and he's the one who drove me home last night. I gave him my number to technically I didn't leave him 'high and dry'" she used air quotes obviously hinting at my previous statement.

I held my hands up and gave Kyla a defensive look.

"Alright I gotta go if I want to make it there on time. I'll see you later Ash" she kissed the top of my head and began walking towards the foyer.

"Oh and Ash..." I looked at her expecting her to ask me for a favour or something. "Have a good day." She left me with a beaming smile as she went to meet destiny for a date. Kyla was more like a mom to me than Christine ever was – that bitch.

It had only been 20 minutes since Kyla left and I was already bored endless. Just as I was about to make my consecutive 5th shot of paper toss my phone vibrated.

**Can I come over? – Spencer. **My heart sped up as I read the unexpected text. Just like the notes in class she insisted on putting her name at the end. I never understood why though.

**Sure. Do you need a ride?**

I was hoping she wasn't planning on bringing Aiden with her. He wasn't exactly in my good books lately, and in all honestly I couldn't be bothered with him.

**No it's ok. I'm outside already. – Spencer. **Wow she was fast! It seems Speedy Gonzalez has some serious competition from Roadrunner.

I practically ran to the door with a huge smile on my face. As soon as I realised I must've looked like an overgrown 5 year old on Christmas, I toned down my eagerness. Opening up the white door I was met with piercing blue eyes.

It took me a few moments to find my voice, but eventually I did. "Uhh hey. Come on in." My stupid stutter was so annoying.

"Thanks."

We awkwardly stood in the foyer until I remembered my manners and offered her a drink. She accepted water and followed me to the kitchen as I got her a glass.

"So this is impromptu." I laughed nervously.

"Yeah" she laughed as well. "I just had to get out of my house. My mom was driving me crazy."

"Hmm I know how parents can be." And it was true I did. Even if mine weren't around, I still learnt an awful lot from Aiden and his.

We ended up watching like a thousand movies including one of my favourites; _Garden State. _Spencer said how she'd never seen it before so I just had to show it to her. She seemed to have enjoyed it because every time I chewed on a piece of popcorn she'd tell me to shut up, and I'd just smile to myself in response.

"Uhh did you want a lift home?" It was 11:30pm and Spencer was getting tired so she decided to make her way back home.

"No it's okay I'll walk." I looked at her like she'd grown two heads. "It's not that far really" she went on to say.

"Spence it's like a 20 minute walk, in the dark, with who knows what round every corner. There is no way in hell you're walking. I'll drive you." It was a miracle that I didn't stutter a bit throughout that speech. And it wasn't until after I'd finished it that I realised I'd called her 'Spence' which was a bit too late to retract it. Oh well.

"No way. I feel bad enough that you had to leave the party because you had to drive me home, I'm not going to ruin your fun by making you drive me around everywhere." She was very persistent, but I didn't give in that easily.

"Fine then I won't drive you." A smile appeared on her face as I said that. "You'll sleep here instead" and then all traces of a smile dissipated.


	9. Hummingbird

It was 2am. Well, 2:48am to be precise. And the reason I knew that was because I'd been unable to sleep for the past couple hours since me and Spencer decided to call it quits for the night.

There was only one reason why I couldn't sleep and it was laid with its back facing me no more than 3 inches away. It was so bittersweet.

Being able to have Spencer within such a close proximity was great, I could smell her strawberry scent and it was completely intoxicating. However, it was driving me crazy and all I wanted to do was to just reach my arm over her waist and hold her close. To be in contact with her by any means.

I did offer Spencer one of the spare rooms so she could have her own double bed instead of having to share one with me, but she was adamant that she didn't want to sleep alone.

It was quite cute really. She was like a child that just needed comfort. And I was more than happy to appease her.

Normally if I couldn't sleep I'd grab my guitar, a pen and some paper and I'd write some lyrics and music. But I really didn't want to do anything that might rouse Spencer from her sleep.

So I kept as still as possible in hopes that Spencer stayed dreaming of all things sweet and good. I laid awake and just thought about everything and anything that never ceased to make sense.

About 15 minutes went by until I heard what sounded like "Ashley turn it down." It was definitely the unmistakeable sound of Spencer, but I was pretty sure she was sleep talking.

I just stayed quiet and smiled and her cuteness. I wondered if she was dreaming that I was playing some music for her. It was possible. I mean, it would've made sense seeing as she seemed rather interested in my musical abilities.

She must've been really into the dream because she said again "Ashley, I know you can hear me. Turn it down please." I was too busy fawning over the fact that she had said my name twice in her sleep to realise she had shifted and was looking directly at me.

"Spencer, are you awake?" I wasn't sure if she was sleeping with her eyes open or what, but it was kind of weird.

"Course I am, why would I have I said you name?" She made little to no sense, the tiredness evident in her speech, but I was able to understand her – just.

"Sleep talking" I said in a detached tone as if it was the simplest answer ever.

She just said "hmm" in response. I took it as my cue to carry on the conversation. "What were you asking me to turn down? There's no music playing."

Even in the darkness I saw her smile sweetly and it melted my heart. I cursed myself for not finding Spencer before Aiden did. But then again I would've run the risk of not finding her at all if it wasn't for Aiden. "I was talking about your brain. I can hear the cogs working overtime." She sobered up quickly from her fatigue and made a lot more sense.

I gave her a sheepish look and a shrug of my shoulders in reaction to her statement. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Seriously, I don't think anyone couldn't find Spencer captivating.

"It's nothing interesting. Just thinking about life and such." I wasn't about to tell her I felt completely at a loss whenever I'm with her, and that all I wanted to do is hold her in any way I can. No, that'd be selfish of me. Love is bigger than just me.

"Okay then" she said, obviously not wanting to push. "Just know that I'm here if you ever need me." But I wasn't brave enough to need her; I was only brave enough to always care.

"Thanks Spence." She was too good to be true. And that gets said a lot by many people these days, but I don't think that they've ever really understood the concept of it. I mean the concept where you can't differentiate between idealism and reality, and when you do, you just wish over and over again that reality would leave you be for just few more hours.

"You're welcome Ash." And my heart flipped. I've had people say 'I Love You' to me, hell most of the people I had slept with said it to me. But not once did those three words ever cause such turbulence within my being that I felt I could cry and laugh at the same time.

"Hey Spence, I uhh, well I just wanted to say..." it was so hard to tell her just how much she meant to me. The past couple of weeks where I'd normally be spending my time sat on the couch, drinking revolting beer alone were now being spent with someone I truly did care about. I cleared my throat and said what I needed to say "I'm glad you're with Aiden" but as usual it wasn't what I wanted to say, and I settled for less.

"Oh well then, thank you." I wasn't sure If was expecting something extravagant but I couldn't help but notice the disappointment in her voice. I was never good at delivering fine and worthy speeches.

And within a few moments she resumed her position from before, her back facing me, with her body slightly curled into a ball. I felt utterly bereft.

"Hey Ash?" Spencer said in a voice that way the lowest I think I'd ever heard.

"Yeah" it was a croaked reply, but I was trying to decipher how to answer back because something told me I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Will you hold me please? I'm scared of the dark." And just like that I was on cloud nine. I wasted no time in scooting over and comforting her.

I'd never been one for spooning but it felt too good to let go, so I didn't. I just hoped she couldn't hear my heart beating erratically threatening to jump out of my chest.

I devoted myself to holding Spencer until her breathing evened out and I was sure she was asleep. Then and only then did I allow myself the comfort of sleep and the deprivation of revelling in everything that she was.


	10. Hummingbird Part 2

So this is just basically Chapter 9 but from Spencer's point of view. I thought it'd be good to get both views on such a soft and intimate moment. Hope you guys like it! Oh and thank you for all the reviews, you're amazing people!

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**Spencer's POV**

I could hear the sound of shifting beside me. I figured that Ashley must've been having some trouble sleeping.

Back home in Ohio whenever I slept over a friend's house I'd always sleep in the same bed as them not even giving it a second thought. But lying beside Ashley felt different. It wasn't bad different but I wasn't sure if it was good different either.

There was definitely something about her that brought out a much more confident side to me. I was truly glad I had someone like her in my life. And I know that I had Aiden, but he was a guy, and sometimes he just didn't understand certain things.

I kept my breathing even so Ashley could get as much peace as she could, but unfortunately I don't think that it helped her. And, although I'm sure she tried to stifle her soft sighs, they were still audible and still conveyed that something was bothering her.

I didn't like the idea of my fast-becoming best friend being down or troubled over anything. Ashley was a good person, and our first meeting was proof of that where she let me use the bathroom before herself.

I was an excellent judge of character and I could tell that Ashley was a good person straight away; I just think that maybe she gets a little lost sometimes. She was one of those people with good intentions but unsure of the steps towards them.

I decided to take the laid back approach to figuring out what was bothering her. After all maybe she'd feel better if I made a joke out of it, you know to try and lighten the situation.

"Ashley turn it down" I said in reference to her thinking overload. I wasn't sure of the exact time because the alarm clock was on Ashley's side of the bed, but I knew it was late, and thinking _that_ much at ridiculous o'clock in the morning was surely not good for you.

A few minutes passed and I wasn't sure if she was deaf of just ignoring me. So I decided to try my luck again. "Ashley, I know you can hear me. Turn it down please."

To punctuate my point I turned over and looked directly at the side of her face. She was busy staring at the ceiling, I wasn't too sure why though, they're not _that_ great.

She eventually let her gaze fix onto my face and asked "Spencer, are you awake?" Her voice was slightly hoarse and I think it may have been because she hadn't spoken in a long time so it was still trying to find its audibility.

"Course I am, why would I have I said you name?" I made sure to sound as if I'd just woken up. Damn, I would've been great at acting!

She must've understood because she said "Sleep talking" in response. I just said "hmm" to make it seem like I was still tired.

"What were you asking me to turn down? There's no music playing" she said as she continued the conversation.

I genuinely smiled at her because I loved the fact that she had such a passion for music. Even if she never did give me a demonstration claiming that she wasn't that good with her guitar. I knew she was just being humble; the best ones always do that.

"I was talking about your brain. I can hear the cogs working overtime." I forgot to sound sleepy but I don't think it fazed her. I could tell that even though she was responding to my questions she was still in her own reverie, and the fact that she shrugged her shoulders was proof of it.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I hoped it wasn't girl troubles. I'd never had a gay friend before and I wasn't sure if the advice I'd normally give about guys would work for girls. They're very different after all.

"It's nothing interesting. Just thinking about life and such." She was being vague so I took it as a sign that she'd rather not go into any more detail.

I just said "Okay then." But I felt like I should've given her more than that, so I did. "Just know that I'm here if you ever need me." It was the best I could do, and I hoped that it was enough.

"Thanks Spence." It was the second time she had called me that. The first time was when she and I were in a heated discussion about how I was getting home. But just then, she said it so softly the second time that I felt so deeply happy.

I only hoped I could return the favour "You're welcome Ash."

Ashley spoke again "Hey Spence, I uhh, well I just wanted to say..." she was fumbling with her words and I wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but I knew that it was going to be important. "I'm glad you're with Aiden" it turned out that it wasn't – at all.

"Oh well then, thank you." I knew she wasn't going to say that, and I think she knew that I wasn't expecting Aiden's name to come up either.

I didn't have anything else to say as soon as she mentioned Aiden so I turned over again on my side away from Ashley. It's not that I didn't like Aiden; I mean I _was _dating him after all. But I didn't understand why he was so important to tonight. And that's when it dawned on me. He wasn't.

"Hey Ash?" I felt bad for just turning my back on her like that but it was obvious that the conversation was over. However, I felt I should give her more.

"Yeah" her voice was so soft in reply I thought I might've imagined it.

"Will you hold me please? I'm scared of the dark." It was the first thing that came into my head, and I was glad that it did. Within seconds Ashley's arm snaked around my waist and pulled me into her tightly, protectively.

We were so close together I swear I could feel Ashley's heartbeat against my back. I really hoped that she couldn't feel or hear mine, because I know that it was going at a rate of knots.

A few moments passed and I found myself already drifting off inside her arms. I'd never felt so safe and sheltered before, and the feeling intensified as I drifted off into a welcomed sleep.


	11. Something's Missing

**Ashley's POV**

Sunday, as many people would agree with me is the ultimate day of rest. It even says so in the Bible somewhere. Therefore, everyone should stay in bed until it's about 2pm and then they should spend the rest of the day being lazy in their pyjamas.

That being said however, I woke up at a ghastly 9:30 in the morning, but the worst part about it was that I had done so of my own accord. I had no need to be up so early, or any desire to either. But I did.

Although I must say that waking up with Spencer still in my arms was one of the greatest feelings ever, if not _the_ greatest. I wondered if she even noticed my absence as I left to use the bathroom.

After my morning business I took advantage of the fact that I was up early and decided to head to the kitchen to make myself and Spencer some breakfast.

Unfortunately I had no idea what Spencer ate for breakfast, and considering I couldn't cook too well I was left with two options; one, I could whip Spencer up a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and seem ridiculously lame, or two, I could not make her anything and seem like a complete ass. I opted for one.

I headed back upstairs with two bowls of cereal in my hands, one for me and one for the blonde beauty still asleep on my bed.

As I entered the room I placed both of the bowls down and walked over to Spencer. I was debating on whether or not I should even wake her up, but my own selfish needs wanted to hear her voice again and they won the fight.

I lightly placed my hand on top of her right shoulder and shook her slightly. "Spencer, Spence, time to wake up" my voice was sweet and low, not wanting to seem too harsh for waking her up.

She stirred a little. "Mpfh. What time is it?" Her voice was scratchy and hoarse; I won't deny that I wished I could've recorded it so I could listen to it every morning as I woke up from my own sleep.

"9:45. I uhh, I brought you some breakfast in case you're hungry." I held up the Cap'n Crunch to her and gave a weak smile knowing that it was lame.

"Mmm... berries my favourite" she sat up and immediately began eating away at the multi-coloured cereal. Within a few minutes Spencer had devoured her cereal and I swear she was thinking about eating mine too because she kept eyeing up my bowl.

"So what've you got planned for today then?" I asked between stuffing oversized spoonfuls into my mouth.

"Well I told Aiden that seeing as I spent the night I wanted to spend the day with you as well. So I'm pretty much all yours now." I felt my heart sigh... If only.

"Uhh okay then. So seeing as it's the day of rest and all that, we're going to rest."

Her fact turned into a slight frown and she spoke again. "But Ash we only just woke up, I don't wanna go back to sleep again" and to punctuate her point she used a whiney voice and pulled that adorable pout she possessed.

I couldn't help but laugh a little at her "Spence, I didn't mean go back to sleep." She raised a questioning eyebrow at me. "I meant we'll get settled in bed and watch some more DVD's, alright?"

"Ohh okay then. In that case, let's go!" And she rubbed her hands together with an excited look upon her face. Deep down Spencer was a little child inside, and whenever she showed that part of her personality, I couldn't help but smile at it.

After searching through endless amounts of DVD's I picked out the one I was searching for; 7 Pounds. I put it in and made my way over to the bed.

I was faced with the hard decision of where to sit. I mean I didn't want to sit too close to Spencer because I knew that I wouldn't even be paying attention to the movie. But if I sat at the foot of the bed it might be a little awkward.

Making my decision I sat myself alongside Spencer at the head of the bed, but I made a wise move to leave at least 2ft between us. If Spencer thought it was weird she didn't say anything, although she did give the smallest frown but it soon evaporated as the film began.

Throughout the movie the distance between me and Spencer seemed to had vanished. I was sat up straight with my back against the pillows and Spencer was curled into my side with her right arm lazily slung across my stomach, she was obviously a lot more relaxed than me.

As the credits started playing I realised I wasn't sure if Spencer was even awake because she hadn't said a word since the film began. Of course I hadn't either but that was because I was too busy with keeping my breathing at a normal rate.

I lowered my head towards her face which was resting on my shoulder and quietly whispered her name. Her head moved and I was met with the saddest blue eyes I'd ever seen in my life.

"What's wrong?" I suddenly felt extremely protective over her, and staring into her tear filled eyes was tearing me up inside.

"I didn't like that film" she stated as plainly as she could but her voice faltered a little as she did so.

7 Pounds was one of my favourite films and I didn't think it was possible for someone _not_ to like it either. Yes, I was stubborn. "Why not?"

"Because Ash, even after he gave her his heart they still couldn't be together properly."

"Yeah but that has to count for something though right? I mean, what were you expecting to happen?"

"I was expecting them to live happily ever after. Together."

"Sometimes people don't live happily ever after Spence. All good things have the capacity to come to an end. It's life." I didn't intend to sound pessimistic, but I was being truthful. The fantasy world where two people can live inside a bubble wasn't reality, it was simply wishful thinking.

There was an underlying sentiment about mine and Spencer's conversation, and it was that it was painfully true. It applied to everything that I was feeling, and as I learnt in English there was only one word for it. Unrequited.

Because everything that I felt towards Spencer was completely and utterly unrequited. The way that she would smile at me and I'd melt, the way she'd set my entire being on fire with the lightest of touches, or the way she'd look at me and I'd feel like it was only for me; all of those things that she'd make me feel weren't reciprocated. And it hurt to know that.


	12. Distance

It's been so long since I've posted but I've got 3 chapter's I'm posting today. Once again, thank you for your reviews and thank you for taking time to read my story.

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It was a Thursday and Aiden had been talking endlessly for the past half hour during our Spanish class. Mr Garcia had even given him a warning, but nothing seemed to deter him.

I wouldn't mind being disrupted during any other class, but I actually liked Spanish. It had a certain something to it that just drew my attention in.

"So are you coming?" I cursed my mind for wandering, but sometimes it digressed with Aiden banging on about boring crap.

"Huh?" My lame response gave away the fact that I wasn't listening; although I was already sure Aiden knew my attention was somewhere else.

Aiden rolled his eyes and then back tracked for me. "Spencer's birthday" he half sighed.

"What about it?" I really hadn't listened to him.

"Ash, would it kill you to listen? Anyways, I was thinking that I'd take her out for dinner and then maybe take her for a walk. What'd you reckon?" It became official then that Aiden was whipped.

I mean he never made an effort with a girl before, that's why we were 'scouting partners', to help each other out with all of the information. But he actually was paying for dinner for her, it just baffled me.

"I don't know, sounds fine" of course I wouldn't say that it sounded like he was planning the world's best birthday for a dog. I mean seriously, a walk?

"Wow, you could have a little more enthusiasm. Ash, here's the thing, Spencer and you are like best friends now. Well, at least she sees it that way. So could you just help me make this special for her, please?"

Aiden's whining was really starting to bother me. But I couldn't escape the fact that Spencer thought of me as her best friend and she deserved to have a good birthday. "Aiden, dinner and a romantic walk sounds great. She'll love it."

Spencer's birthday was on Saturday which pretty much left me with Friday to find her a present. Unfortunately for me I had no idea what to buy Spencer, and I was pretty sure that just giving her money was lame and tactless and therefore off the cards.

The bell sounded signalling it was the end of school and I made my way over to my black Porsche Cayenne. Kyla was already leant against the passenger door with her sunglasses on and her school bag resting on the hood of the car.

"Do you have to put your bag on top of my car? What's wrong with just carrying it?" I was afraid she might scratch the paint.

She pulled her glasses down lower on her nose so I'd be able to see her eye roll. "Uhh it's heavy." I just shook my head at her and told her to grab her bag and get in.

Soon enough we were home and I made my way upstairs to my room. I would've stayed to keep Kyla company watching TV but I needed to start thinking about Spencer's birthday gift.

After about an hour of thinking I gave up and quickly went to locate Kyla to ask for some of her advice. She was still sat in the exact spot as before I left and the only thing that was different was the channel.

I entered the living room and made my way over to the couch where Kyla was and took a seat next to her. Her attention still remained focussed on America's Next Top Model.

"Hey Ky?" I peered over to see if I had her interest, and she immediately diverted her gaze from the TV to me with a look that told me to continue. "Umm I kind need some help."

"Ash if you're about to ask me to help you pick up a girl this conversation will end right now."

"No no, it's nothing like that. I just well... okay look, it's Spencer's birthday Saturday and I don't know what to get her, and I was thinking of just giving her a couple hundred dollars but then I thought that would maybe seem a bit thoughtless, so now I'm asking for your help." I finally took a deep breath.

She sat quiet for a moment and studied me. "Okay then. Well, you were right not to just give her money, she means more to you than that. You can't really go wrong with jewellery for a girl. Just get her something sweet and simple, nothing too extravagant yeah?"

I nodded my head in approval of what she just said. "Yeah okay. Oh and thanks Ky, you know, for the help" and I gave her my sincerest smile of appreciation.

"You're welcome Ash" and with that Kyla turned back to the TV and I joined her, content with her company.


	13. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic

I spent the entire day Friday searching for the perfect gift for Spencer. I even skipped school for the occasion. It may have taken hours but I finally found her the perfect gift. Sweet and simple, just like Kyla suggested.

It was Saturday and I had just gotten a call from a very nervous Aiden who was already worrying about his date with Spencer that wasn't for another 3 hours. So playing the good friend role I told him to come over and I'd help him prepare.

About half an hour later Aiden turned up wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a black tie. "Aiden you do realise you're going on a date, not to a funeral."

He looked down at himself and gave a sheepish look. "This took me hours to pick out."

I sighed and lead him to a closet that was full of men's clothes upstairs. I wasn't sure why we had it, but over the many years it seemed to just accumulate clothing from Kyla's boyfriend's or Christine's play toy of the month.

I picked out some black jeans, and a plain white t-shirt which I knew would show off Aiden's muscles. "There, now it doesn't look like you're trying too hard, but you still look respectably nice."

He sauntered over to the full length mirror and regarded himself. "Wow, thanks Ash. I look hot!" I rolled my eyes.

"Aiden you're not supposed to look "hot", you're supposed to look smart but casual."

We made our way down the hall and into my bedroom where Aiden sat upon the edge of my bed. "Still, I reckon once Spencer get's one look at me she'll totally be wanting more than just a goodnight kiss. And besides, who am I to deny her of such pleasure on her birthday?"

My nose crinkled up in disgust at his arrogant behaviour. Was he seriously planning on sleeping with Spencer? I guess I couldn't be too surprised, they'd been dating for months now.

I gave him a faux smile to disguise my antipathy of him. But deep down I felt bereft. I didn't want Spencer to be just a hit and run for Aiden, or anybody for that matter. She deserved more than that. She deserved romance and passion and devotion.

Aiden soon left for his date with Spencer, and I was soon left feeling more alone than ever.

I made a quick decision and headed out for a while. I already knew where I was heading as soon as I left. It was the place I usually go when I'm feeling alone, Grey's Nightclub.

It was about 9:45pm and there were already a few drunken women who made for easy prey. I was still relatively sober and knew that I was about to make another mistake, but the small amount of alcohol I had in my blood stream and the extreme loneliness I felt were spurring me on.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a tall dark haired woman who was practically eye-fucking me already. She seemed pretty drunk considering she tripped over nothing as she made her way towards me at the bar.

She didn't say a word to me but ordered two shots from the bartender who placed them in front of her. Silently she slid one in front of me and I raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "Here's to us" she said as she threw the liquid back into her throat. I quickly followed suit.

Looking back over at her I decided to cut to the chase. "Come with me" I said as I pulled her into a bathroom stall by her wrist. It was still fairly early so the bathroom was pretty much deserted.

I slammed her into an end stall and began taking off her clothes. Her hands gripped at the back of my top. I left a trail of hot kisses down her neck to her right breast. I didn't bother taking her bra off, I just pulled it down to give me enough access.

I sucked eagerly on the hard nub whilst palming the other. My pants and underwear were resting by my knees. I didn't need to waste valuable time by taking them off completely, it wasn't making love, hell it wasn't even sex, it was nothing but fucking. It was desperate.

I slid my fingers through her wet folds and entered two of them inside her. I began pumping forcefully into her, she didn't seem to mind the roughness; in fact she seemed to enjoy it extremely. I was wet too but I made sure to keep my cool as I brought the mystery woman to her climax.

She was spent and I could tell. But I was still unsatisfied with the little attention that had been paid to me so I pulled her hand towards my own source of heat.

She soon got the idea and began rubbing my clit whilst pushing two of her long digits in and out of me. She was much more gentle with me than I was with her, and for a moment I felt bad but it soon passed.

The woman must've been too drunk to really know what she was doing or extremely shy because she wasn't exactly great at fucking. In the end I faked an orgasm just so she'd stop her attempt at sex.

"Wow. That was amazing" the mystery woman said as she was buttoning up her blouse.

I pulled up my underwear and buttoned up my pants. "Yeah" I said sarcastically. She wouldn't have noticed the tone though, alcohol makes everything seem sincere.

I pulled the door of the toilet cubicle open and was about to leave when the mystery woman spoke again. "Wait, what's your name?"

I realised then that we never even spoke more than five words to each other before we fucked in a toilet. "Ashley" I said plainly.

"Cool, mine's Georgia. Here's my number, you know, in case you wanna do this again sometime" and she handed me a small white business card.

Without another word I took her card, slipped it into my back pocket and left the nightclub. There was a small feeling of guilt resting in the pit of my stomach because I knew I wasn't going to call her.

I was probably going to forget completely who she was. She wasn't a person I'd call; she was a statistic like many of the other women I had slept with.

I made it home by 10:48pm and headed straight to bed. Kyla wasn't around, which probably meant she was over at Esryn's house for the night. I disregarded all of my clothing apart from my boy shorts and a plain white wife beater to sleep in.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't even begin to get to sleep. I rolled over and saw Spencer's birthday present sat on my bedside table. I was going to give it to her but after hearing Aiden talk about the possibility of them having sex I couldn't face her.

My hand reached out to grab the silver wrapped gift. I sighed deeply. I sat upright and began searching for a pair of trousers to put on. I was going to give Spencer her present on her birthday.

I found a pair of grey sweatpants and quickly pulled them on as well as some black Converse. I didn't care if I looked like I was taking part in a charity marathon I just cared about getting to Spencer's in time.

I raced to Spencer's with her gift sat beside me in the passenger seat of my car. Pulling up outside her house I looked at the clock on the dashboard checking I still had time, it was 11:36pm.

All of the lights were off in the house which meant that no one was up. I made my way round to Spencer's window at the side of the house. Looking closely I saw that there was a small gap about the size of a tennis ball where it was open.

Luckily for me her garage was below her window so it wouldn't be too hard to climb. I managed to get up on her garage roof and walked towards her window.

I knew there was no subtle approach to getting inside so I quietly whispered through the window. "Spence you awake? Spence, Spencer?" I got no response in return.

The last minute plan I had cooked up had failed. I was sure Spencer was going to hate me forever for missing her birthday. I really did care about her and wanted her to have the best day imaginable. But maybe that was my problem, imagining I could give her that didn't actually mean that it was possible.


	14. Wherever I Go

About five minutes passed of me whispering her name with no response. I was about ready to give up when I heard the raspy voice of Spencer whisper my name back to me.

"Ashley, is that you?" I really hoped it hadn't gone past midnight.

"Spence, I'm at your window let me in." I briefly looked around me at the dark and quiet street, hoping no one saw me and thought I was a burglar.

A small light in her room turned on and then the window slowly opened with a confused looking Spencer in her robe staring at me from the other side. I scrambled over and found myself stood in Spencer's bedroom.

"Not that I don't like being woken up by someone trying to get into my room through my window Ash, but why are you here?" Her voice still had that raspy tone to it and it tugged on the strings of my heart whenever she spoke.

I walked us both over to her bed and sat us down. "Happy Birthday Spence" I said as I handed her the silver box.

She still looked confused but took the box regardless. Pulling off the silver wrapping paper and lifting the lid of the box she stared at its contents not saying a word.

Her eyes welled up, and I could tell she was fighting back tears. I just wasn't sure if they were tears of joy, pain, sadness or what.

"If you don't like it I can take it back" I rushed out as I panicked.

"Ash, I love it" she said as her fingers traced the small silver love heart necklace. I remembered her mentioning she didn't like wearing gold jewellery so I bought silver instead.

I smiled at her appreciation of such a small gift. "Here let me put it on you" I said as I took the necklace from its box and manoeuvred myself behind her body to do so.

She swept her hair to the side allowing me room to work the small catch onto her. "There ya go" and I positioned her in front of her mirror so she could see the necklace with me stood behind her still.

Spencer was mostly silent, not looking at me but at the little necklace that she was wearing. Her fingers were tracing the outline of the heart like she did when she first opened it. She always did have a fascination for touching things.

Her eyes finally met mine in the mirror and she turned around and hugged me tightly. I was completely powerless to do the same.

As she pulled back slightly she branded me with a kiss on my left cheek. My brain had to work overtime to stop my eyes from closing and the feel of her lips there.

"Wh-what was that for?" I said as my eyes searched hers.

"You just made my entire day" and the moment she said it I could've cried from such joy.

Her eyes fixated on the clock with a look of disappointment. "What's wrong?"

She bit her lip as she looked at me, contemplating on whether to really say what was bothering her or not. "Nothing, it's just that well, its 11:53, and well, my birthday will be over in 7 minutes which means that this won't last."

I wasn't too sure what wasn't going to last, but I did what I felt I should do at that moment. I slipped off my Converse and sweatpants and climbed into her bed. I then peered over at Spencer hoping she'd understand my actions. She did.

She then removed her robe and made her way over to the bed as well. I had to avert my gaze from staring at her cute yellow boy shorts and matching wife beater. God, she looked beautiful.

Her body slid in next to mine and I immediately felt my temperature begin to rise. Spencer rolled onto her right side; I then took the initiative and rolled onto my left to make sure we were facing each other.

"Thank you Ash" it was whispered but I heard every word loud and clear.

"Hey beautiful" I said as I stroked her cheek and brushed some hair out of her face, "it was only a necklace."

She let out a small sigh. "I know and it's beautiful. But I mean thank you for just being here with me" a small smile graced her features.

I smiled in return; it was like a chain reaction whenever I was with Spencer. "Anytime Spence." If I was brave enough I would've kissed her then. It was a perfect moment to just lean in slightly and brush my lips against hers. But I was a coward. And I took the coward's way out.

My eyes briefly wandered down to her lips and hovered there for a split second. I gulped and moved my head back slightly. I didn't need to torture myself tonight.

I shut my eyes temporarily to try and focus less of my attention on her. And it worked. I thought of Kyla, Christine, men in general, the feel of Spencer's hand snaking around my neck, the velvet sound of her voice as she whispered my name, and the touch of her soft lips against mine.

It became all too real for me that I opened my eyes and saw Spencer's were closed. And then I realised, she was actually kissing me! And I was actually kissing her back!

Her lips felt amazing I couldn't describe it. Oh God it was like heaven. Her tongue and mine were making brandings of their own inside each other's mouths. It was so good I moaned into the passionate kiss. Unfortunately that seemed to give Spencer back her awareness of what she had just initiated.

My eyes flew open at the loss of contact and I was met with her piercing blue ones staring intently at me.

"I'm sorry" the words came from my mouth before I knew I had said them.

Spencer shook her head at me. "Ash don't be sorry. I was the one who started it, and for the record I'm sorry."

"Don't be" I said back with a slight smile. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just sat completely still waiting for her to make the next move.

It was only seconds before she did, and she turned away from me curling herself more under the duvet. I inwardly cursed at myself for not making the next move before she did.

Spencer's hand then found mine and pulled it towards her, wrapping it around her waist. I moved my body so that it was pressed against her back so that we were spooning again.

"Spence?" I said once we were both settled.

"Hmm"

"Happy Birthday" and I gave her one last lingering kiss on her cheek. I felt her smile beneath my lips and I soon fell asleep with Spencer in my arms, never feeling so satiated in all my life.


	15. Quiet

This chapter's longer than usual but I needed to fit a lot into it. Hope you enjoy, and as usual Thank you. - Cat

* * *

Morning came far too quickly than I'd of hoped for. Laying there with Spencer wrapped inside my arms was one of the best feelings I'd ever experienced, it was bliss. But as many things do in life, that feeling had to come to an end at some point.

It was a week after Spencer's birthday, on a Friday. Me and Spencer seemed to be spending more time together than a priest and his bible. In fact, me and Spencer had pretty much been spending as much time together as we could, and it soon became apparent to ourselves and others that we were inseparable best friends.

We never did speak of the kiss that happened on her birthday. By the time I awoke she'd already gotten dressed and was sat reading a book in her desk chair, no doubt waiting on me to wake up and get out of her bed so she could introduce me to her family and then have breakfast.

I was expecting it to be uncomfortable or at least a little tension in the atmosphere, but there wasn't. Spencer treated everything like it was completely normal. Like we'd never kissed each other so passionately that it felt like everything that wasn't us in that moment ceased to exist. She treated it like it was nothing. So that's what it became to us, nothing.

And from then onwards it was like an elephant in the room that only I could feel lingering in the corner. But being the fool I was I turned my head to look the other way and repressed its presence. I didn't try to ask about it, or even dared to bring up the subject of her birthday altogether.

However, just because Spencer had erased all traces of it didn't mean that I did the same. No, I replayed that kiss over and over again in my head. It was like my own personal highlight reel of 'best bits' and 'glory days' stuck on a repeat cycle that I was only too happy to keep watching.

Spencer had gone to visit her Grandma for the day which meant that I had nothing to do. Realising that I was rather pathetic for moulding my whole life around only Spencer and myself for the past week I decided to invite Aiden over on the off chance that he might think I was trying to steal his girlfriend away from him – which I wasn't.

I felt a small amount of guilt as I realised I'd been neglecting my friendship with Aiden, telling him I was busy with 'family stuff' whenever he wanted to hang out just so I didn't have to put up with him looming over Spencer at every chance he got. Although it wasn't a complete lie, Kyla was mostly present when me and Spencer were hanging out. We were like a little trio.

Aiden arrived looking more dishevelled that usual. "Whoa there thunder-face, what's up with you?" I said trying to keep things as normally light as usual.

He made his way straight through the foyer to the living room and I followed suit. "Nothing, I'm fine." Aiden tried to shrug it off but I knew him far better than that.

He sat himself down in the middle of the couch and then stretched out so he took up the entire length. I wasn't bothered; I normally sat in the chair anyway. I gave him my best disbelieving look and it must have worked because he knew I knew him all too well to know when something's bothering him.

Aiden flung a forearm over both his eyes and let out a long and exasperated sigh. He then sat up and leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "You and Spencer are close friends right?"

"Yes" his question may have been rather left field but there was no faltering in my answer, just confidence and indisputability.

"So you probably tell each other everything then?" I had no idea what point he was trying to make, and by his confused expression he was having a little trouble trying to understand his own words too.

"Aiden" I sighed and then continued. "Of course we tell each other everything, we're best friends." There was nothing but conviction and truth in my words, although I still held hope that there was something more between me and Spencer that was yet to surface.

"Right, of course." Aiden's voice grew softer as he spoke "You know there was a time when you'd call me your best friend Ash."

"Aiden you're still my best friend. We've known each other since we were like five. It's just nice having a female friend to talk to about... you know female stuff. Look, there's no way Spencer will ever replace you, not in a million years."

It was probably the nicest thing I'd ever said to him, we were never ones for sharing our feelings. I continued talking. "Aiden is that what this is all about, you being jealous of Spencer?" I let out a small laugh to portray the absurdity of it to him.

He shook his head slowly and sadly. "No that's not what's bothering me, although it was nice hearing the reassurance from you."

"Then what _is_ bothering you?" There was a long pause of silence. I wasn't even sure if he was going to give me an answer until he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Okay, well you know I said I wanted to make her birthday special and everything?" I nodded. "Well I guess in a way I did, but she's just been acting really different since then" I was completely confused.

"Aiden, I'm not a mind reader. Just tell me exactly what happened."

"Alright so we had dinner which was great, then we went for a walk along the beach and it started to rain so I invited her to come back to my place so we could wait it out until I could drop her off home again. So we were up in my room watching a film and you know we started to make out and fool around, and then you know..." He let the sentence trail off.

"I don't understand" it was a lie, I did understand. I just didn't know what else to say because it was like my worst nightmare coming true.

"We had sex Ash" he said as he sighed.

"And I'm guessing it was disappointing?"

"No. I mean she told me it was her first time and you know I respected that. I took it slow. But believe me Ash, for a girl who'd never had sex before... she was amazing. It really felt different to me, but you know, good different. Like an adrenaline rush that didn't seem to fade"

"So what's got your feathers ruffled then?"

"This. The part where she doesn't wanna hang out with me anymore, or where she'd rather spend her time doing homework than seeing me." That was one of Spencer's many excuses as to why she didn't want to see him. Now I knew why she was hiding from him.

"Maybe she's embarrassed. Aiden it was her first time, give her a break" his face contorted and I was sure he thought I was trying to take her side so I rushed out my next line. "She's probably worried she wasn't good enough for you, or she did something wrong or something."

His faced softened in realisation. "Oh" was all he said. "Hey Ash, when she gets back will you do me favour and talk to her for me? She's back Sunday evening."

My eyes shifted from their spot on the floor to his and then to their original spot. "Sure, will do". What Aiden didn't seem to know was that Spencer was due back by 8pm that day. She must've lied to him in order to continue her avoidance of him.

Aiden soon left after our conversation and I was waiting for a text from Spencer saying she was back home. We'd planned before she left that as soon as she got back I would drive over to hers, pick her up and we'd spend the rest of the weekend at mine.

Unfortunately, I had to be the best friend to Aiden and find out why his girlfriend was avoiding him after they had "amazing" sex together, and why she preferred to be spending her time with me than him. Okay the last bit Aiden didn't ask me to find out about, but I wanted to know why anyways.

**Hey I'm back. Coming to pick me up? – Spence**

Even though she knew I'd know who it was who texted me she still insisted on putting her name at the end. It baffled me.

**On my way hot stuff. **

Playing it cool was going to be hard, I had an entire weekend with Spencer ahead. And now there was going to be more than one elephant in the room, because standing opposite our kiss was the cold hard truth of Aiden's and Spencer's sex life.


	16. Who Did You Think I Was

I'd just picked Spencer up from her house and arrived back at mine for the weekend ahead. I still wasn't sure on when or where would be the best time to talk to her about hers and Aiden's lack of communication but I knew it wasn't going to be easy.

I walked up the stairs with Spencer and her bags in tow towards the direction of my bedroom. Sauntering over to the small couch I had in the corner I placed them on top of the cream fabric surface of the cushions.

Turning around I saw Spencer splayed out across the bed in a starfish position. "Uhh Spence you do realise it's only 8:45, which is way too early to go to bed."

Her head popped up as she answered me back. "Yeah I know, it's just your bed is so much more comfortable than mine."

My rule of my bedroom being my domain flew out of the window when it came to Spencer. She could have the entire bed if she wanted and I'd be more than happy to take the floor, so long as my sheets and pillows still smelt of her when I got to sleep in the bed afterwards.

"C'mon Spence my bed can wait. We need food" and with that I ignored her protesting, took her by the hand and led her downstairs to the kitchen.

As we entered Kyla's head whipped round to see both me and Spencer still holding hands from before, and a smile appeared on her face. A simultaneous round of hey's came from both of them as they acknowledged one another's presence.

Kyla and Spencer's friendship was as solid as mine and Aiden's. They were both the same age which meant that they shared a lot more of their classes together. Both me and Aiden were a year older than the two of them.

Spencer sat herself on a stool next to Kyla and pinched a bite of her poptart. "Spencer!" Kyla scolded and playfully hit her on the arm. "Ashley don't you ever feed her?"

Spencer cut in before I could say anything. "Nope, I'm left to starve."

"No you're not. I'll make you something if you're hungry" I said back.

Kyla's snort and Spencer's sniggering didn't go unheard. "No offence Ash, but you can't cook to save your life" Kyla said as she tried stifling her slight laughter.

"Hey, it's not my fault if Christine wanted to hire a cook for half of my life. And the other half was full of microwave meals and take-out." I pouted.

"I'll cook. It's the least I can do seeing as you're putting up with me all weekend" Spencer offered with a smile.

"Spencer, you're the guest, you're not supposed to do the cooking" I deadpanned.

"I won't be doing the cooking" she said with a knowing smirk on her face. "You and Kyla will be. I'll just be instructing you guys on what you need to do. It'll be fun I promise."

Kyla and I looked at each other sceptically. "Okay then" Kyla said speaking for the both of us as my attention was back on Spencer.

"Now, what'd you fancy?" Spencer said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow at me. She always was incredibly sexy when she did that.

I smiled to myself at Spencer's comment. "Anything sweet" I answered back, thinking of the very sweet blonde in front of me. Kyla then elbowed me in the side and whispered only loud enough so I could hear "Stop sexing up Spencer."

By this time Spencer had already started searching around through the cupboards for the right ingredients and equipment needed for whatever she had in mind. "What? I'm not." I received an incredulous stare from Kyla.

"Ash you so are, just keep it in your pants okay?"

"Why do I get told off and she doesn't? She's the one being all domestic and sexy. It's her fault really."

Kyla averted her attention back on Spencer and I quickly did the same. "So, what are we making?" Kyla asked.

"Well I decided on something easy for the two of you. You're gonna be making some cookies each" Spencer said with an ear splitting smile.

"Cookies, really Spence? You couldn't have chosen something less Brady Bunch?"

"Hey it's not my fault you guys can't cook. It'll be fun, I'll judge both of your cookies and we'll see whose taste better."

The sound of this perked Kyla up immensely. "Ohh is there a prize for the winner?"

Spencer seemed to be caught a little off guard. "Uhh of course. What do you want the prize to be?"

Kyla was always one for prizes. If she could she'd probably want a big trophy with a mini statue of herself on top. You know, like them ones people usually win in sporting competitions and stuff. "A kiss."

Kyla's words finally hit my ears and I was completely astonished by them. "What?" I said a little too fiercely, my neck nearly snapping as I whipped my head around to her.

"The winner gets a kiss from you" she pointed at Spencer.

I looked from Kyla's grinning face to Spencer's, and to my surprise Spencer was wearing a similar grin to that of Kyla.

"Done. But you guys better get to work, I'm not that easy to please" the blonde said as she lightly pushed both Kyla and myself towards the mass of ingredients she put out just moments ago.


	17. Free Fallin'

"I can't believe you kissed her."

"Well she won fair and square. Plus her cookies were amazingly good."

"Mine were good too."

"Ashley, yours were so burnt they were practically charcoal." Spencer said as she mindlessly flicked through the TV channels in my bedroom.

"That was not my fault, it was the ovens. Besides I did exactly what you told me to do, bake for 20 minutes."

"Ash, you forgot about them and left them in there for 55 minutes" she stopped briefly on CNN and then continued her pattern of flicking though.

"Eugh, I still find it gross you kissed Kyla." I scrunched my nose up punctuating my point.

"Jealous much? Anyways, it was only a peck on the lips." Okay, I may have exaggerated the kiss, but in all fairness... it should've been me!

I didn't care if I was being selfish or acting immaturely, Kyla did it on purpose and when I got the chance to, I was going to have words with her.

My brain was too busy thinking of ways to get Kyla back for stealing my kiss that I didn't notice Spencer had nestled in closer to my side. It was only when she pulled my arm around her that my attention was back to where it should be, on Spencer.

"Ash?" Spencer began hesitantly "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing much" I spoke back half-heartedly.

"Liar" she said as she poked me in the side, not knowing that her fingertips practically set me on fire.

I was trying to muster up enough courage to ask her about Aiden. On the one hand I didn't want to ruin the moment with Spencer by asking about something so intimate, but on the other hand, I did promise Aiden that I would talk to her.

"Spence can I ask you something?" I was now speaking in low hushed tones, being careful not to sound too prying.

"Of course, anything."

"How comes you've been avoiding Aiden?" As soon as it left my lips I knew it sounded like I was giving her a harsh inquisition as to why she was avoiding my best friend and her boyfriend.

"What'd you mean?" She was playing dumb.

"Spence, give me a little credit here, I may be slow but I'm not _that_ slow. Ever since your birthday you've been blowing him off to hang around with me instead at every chance you get."

It was all on the table. I'd brought up her birthday, Aiden _and_ myself all in one big outburst. I hoped I wouldn't regret it.

Spencer sighed. "Ash, I've never thought for one second you're slow." Her brows soon furrowed, and I knew she was about to spill everything. Her eyes were closed as she began speaking.

"Aiden took me out for dinner for my birthday, and then we took a walk along the beach. It was really nice, and he was a complete gentleman all night. We then ended up back at his and before I knew it we were making out on his bed" as she said this she was softly shaking her head from side to side. I wasn't even sure if she was aware of her actions let alone my presence in the room, she was completely lost in her own words.

I pulled her in closer to me as she was speaking to offer her some reassurance. "Spence, it's okay" I whispered into her ear.

"I slept with him Ash" and those five words were like a bullet through the heart. I already knew it, but hearing them come from her really brought the reality of it to life for me.

I kept quiet, knowing that she needed to go on and for fear that I may say something completely wrong for the situation. "It was my first time you know, and after it was over I just felt nothing. I mean, I don't know how you're supposed to feel after but, I just felt completely empty. I kinda felt like I was inadequate."

"Spence, don't worry about it. Look, it was probably just nerves okay? You've got nothing to worry about. Aiden really likes you. But you can't keep ignoring him though 'cause he's probably thinking he did something wrong."

Have you ever had to give someone you like relationship advice that you know isn't meant for you? Well if you haven't and you're wondering what it's like, it sucks. It's an inevitable feeling of being helpless to just watch everything you want being taken from you and you're completely powerless to do anything.

"Hmm... I guess you're right" and she snaked her left arm across my waist. "I'll talk to him Monday at school."

I immediately felt a lot lighter knowing that I'd done the right thing by helping Aiden out. Unfortunately, I knew that by doing so I'd just made myself more susceptible to the torture of them together as a couple.

"Hey Ash?" Spencer half whispered, not wanting to disturb the comfortable silence we were engaged in.

"Hmm?"

"You're an amazing person y'know that?" My face immediately burst into a huge childlike grin.

"I've been told once or twice, but I always like to hear compliments" I playfully retorted back.

Spencer suddenly shifted on the bed out of my grasp and I unintentionally let out a small whimper at the loss of contact from her. She sat upright facing me with a small smile gracing her perfectly sculpted mouth, obviously hearing my need for contact with her.

The glow of the TV shone onto the left side of her face, lighting up some of her features. Occasionally the rays from the screen would catch in her eyes and it'd show the true beauty of her cerulean blue orbs. I didn't think I had ever seen a more beautiful and perfect sight until then.

Her hands landed on each side of my face, pulling mine closer to hers. I knew we were going to kiss. Her touch sent electric shocks all down my body. She slowly inched her face closer as my tongue darted out to lick my lower lip.

And then it happened. Her lips took their rightful place upon mine. But it wasn't like last time; it was much more sweet and innocent. There were no tongues involved but it felt better than before.

Slowly, we both pulled back resting our foreheads against one another with our eyes still closed.

"There" Spencer began a little hoarsely. "Now you shouldn't feel bad that I kissed Kyla."

"Oh I don't anymore" I said with a permanent smile now etched on my face.

"Good" and she kissed me briefly one last time, similar to the one she gave Kyla and settled back into my side watching TV whilst I drew mindless patterns on the small of her back with my right arm.


	18. Clarity

Let's take a look at what's going on inside Spencer's head shall we? Thanks for all of the reviews, they're all appreciated. 

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Spencer's POV

I was so tired, but the cogs in my brain seemed to be keeping me awake as they worked themselves overtime. I was as conflicted as a five year old forced to choose between chocolate or strawberry ice cream.

To my left was a beautiful brunette offering a low humming noise as she slept so peacefully. I sat forward and let my eyes roam over her face, taking in the glorious sight of such porcelain skin, the knowledge that under those restful lids were the deepest brown eyes I'd ever seen.

My brows furrowed as I wondered about my recent predicaments with Ashley and Aiden. There I was stuck between a rock and hard place. I couldn't lie, I _was_ attracted to Ashley, but then again who wouldn't be? I mean she was like the definition of magnificent, living proof that Mother Nature, God and whoever else, could create the finest specimen of beauty and actually allow me the privilege of knowing her.

That feeling though wasn't as strong with Aiden. I wasn't blind, I could see he was clearly handsome, tall, a gentleman, but he wasn't as predominant as Ashley.

Everything Aiden did and that seemed to impress me, my brain kept comparing it to things Ashley would do. For example, Aiden had a nice smile that was very cute and loveable, but Ashley's was infectious and I'd always notice the little dimples she'd get, and the way her nose crinkled. Or how they both hug me; Aiden's was rough and demanding. But Ashley's was secure, caring and compassionate.

It was like fighting a losing battle. I'd try to convince myself that Aiden was everything that I could ever want, but then I'd be faced with the harsh truth that wanting Aiden isn't the same as needing Ashley.

I even went as far as sleeping with Aiden to try and satiate the deep desire for physical contact. But I knew deep down that I only craved the contact of Ashley. Her skin on my skin. Aiden was kind and nice and sweet, but he was also unengaged. It was like there was a complete lack of a connection between us. But with Ashley it was effortless, the connection was already there, and it was like no matter how much I pulled away from her, we would just end up gravitating towards each other.

Twice. That was the number of times I had become weak enough to actually give in to the desire for Ashley and had kissed her. Neither one of us has spoken about it, which I knew would probably come back to bite us on the ass. But the truth was, I was scared.

I was afraid that having those desires for someone other than my boyfriend wasn't right, and that having them about another girl wasn't normal. I mean, I wasn't a homophobe and I knew that, as my father would say; 'love has no limits', no matter what age or gender you are. The thing that scared me though was that it was all completely new to me. I'd never felt such a strong want for any of my previous female friends back home in Ohio. Although, those friends pale in comparison to Ashley.

Ashley stirred in her sleep, turning onto her left side as her right arm came into contact with the empty bed behind me. There was a slight sheen of sweat on her forehead, oddly though it wasn't hot outside. Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she woke panting.

My brows furrowed in worry at her. "Ashley? You okay?"

She continued panting but nodded her head ghostly. "What's wrong?"

She turned her head as her eyes scanned the room and then eventually landed on me. "I had a bad dream."

Under normal circumstances I'd of laughed, but the vulnerability and slight cracking in her voice as she spoke made me feel rather heartbroken for her. She looked so small and delicate like a little child. "Wanna talk about it?"

She faintly said a whispered "no."

"Okay then." And with that I manoeuvred myself back up the bed next to her, and scooped her into my arms holding her and stroking soothingly up and down her back.

We stayed like that for a while and I was sure Ashley had fallen back asleep until I hear her indistinctly say my name.

"Yeah?" I questioned.

"Why'd you do it?" she said as she yawned, obviously needing sleep more now.

I was a little confused "Do what?"

"Kiss me" she said plainly. My heart picked up its pace as soon as she mentioned it.

There were many ways I could have taken the conversation. I could've lied to her and said there was a bug on her lips and I was simply killing it with my own, or I could've said that Katy Perry's song was stuck in my head and it brainwashed me.

I turned my head to look at Ashley, and I was met with her chocolate brown orbs solely trained on mine. I knew I'd tell her the truth because that's exactly what she deserved.

"I don't know" her face looked a little crestfallen and I knew I owed her more. "I couldn't help it." I paused knowing that the next thing I said would open up an entire lot of new questions. "But I want to do it again" I sat perfectly still with bated breath.

Ashley nuzzled her head into the crook of my neck and I watched as her eyelids fluttered slightly at the need for sleep. "Mmmkay then... me too."

About ten minutes passed and Ashley fell back asleep pressed into my side. I just sat and went over everything that was just said out loud between us. I couldn't bring myself to regret kissing Ashley because I knew that deep down on some level it felt a little bit right. I just wished I had some idea of what was going on between the warfare of my brain and heart.

I watched Ashley's stomach rise and fall with each breath she took. They were like the waves of the ocean hugging the shore, coming and going at a smooth steady pace. Shutting my eyes I concentrated on the sweet low sound of her breathing, pretending each breath was a wave that had just broken, leaving nothing but the clarity of the golden sand. And before I knew it, I was asleep also.


	19. Skinny Love

**Ashley's POV**

Spencer had said over the weekend that she'd sort things out with Aiden on Monday. It was Friday, and I hadn't heard a word from both her and Aiden since. I was beginning to worry.

"Relax, I'm sure they'll come running through the door hand in hand waiting to tell you about their amazing make-up sex." Kyla offered me neither help nor ease. She also knew about their 'problems' due to her close friendship with Spencer.

"Kyla I'm serious, what if they're in trouble or something? I mean, they might've been kidnapped!" Okay, I was a little beyond worried and bordering hysterical.

"Ash, chill okay? I spoke to Spence in class yesterday, she's fine."

"Well what about Aiden? How'd you know he's 'fine'" I used air quotes because Kyla knew how much I hated the word 'fine'. I was nobody's fool. I knew better than Kyla. I knew that 'fine' meant nothing, because in my world there was no such thing. Fine had no definition to me. It was an in-between that failed to give a point of its existence, proving that 'fine' was in fact insignificant.

"Are you serious? I don't hang around the gym all the time." Kyla let out an irritated sigh, and I knew it was because of my exaggerated worrying. "Look, Ash, when they're good and ready they'll come you okay?"

"Okay."

About two hours after mine and Kyla's talk there was a knock at the door. I checked the clock and it read 8:49pm. I knew there was only one person who'd show up on my doorstep that late on a school night. My heart immediately began to race at the thought of just being able to be within a close proximity of Spencer.

I swung the door open widely to reveal my blonde beauty, but instead was met with someone else. "Aiden?" I was a little surprised and confused with his impromptu visit, normally he'd ring before coming over.

"What the hell Ash!" He stormed through the foyer towards the living room. "How could you sell me out like that?"

Aiden was pacing up and down on the hardwood floor. "What are you talking about Aid?"

"Spencer!" He spoke with vehemence when he said her name, and I didn't like it. He must've caught my estranged and confused look because he began elaborating. "She fucking dumped me Ash! I've never been dumped in my entire life, and now the one girl I actually cared about decided to pull the plug on everything, and leave me high and dry."

"She what?" My words were low and somewhat distant, thinking of an aforementioned blonde beauty. I was still getting over the initial shock of it all, plus the fact that Aiden just swore soberly.

Aiden's demeanour immediately softened as he took in my surprise at the latest news. "She dumped me Ash. I can't believe she just let six months go down the drain."

"I thought you two worked it out on Monday?" I sat down on the couch, running a hand through my brown curls.

"We tried. But she just kept saying that it didn't feel right. She said you two talked and stuff, and I guess I thought you told her to do it, which is why I came barging in here" he gave me an apologetic smile.

"Aiden, I had no idea" and it was true, I didn't. "She hasn't even spoken to me since she left here on Sunday night."

All he said was a small "Oh" in response. He sat beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I then pulled mine around his waist and we sat in silence, just thinking.

"I'm really sorry it didn't work out between you two" I offered.

"Me too" he sighed and started rubbing my shoulder. "Hey Ash?" he began.

"Yeah?"

"I don't expect you to choose between us. I know you two are best friends, and so are we, so I'll try my best to you know, put on a brave face and get along."

It surprised me how much Aiden had grown up since dating Spencer. He wasn't as insensitive as he used to be, and he valued his friendships a lot more than he used to. It made me feel truly gutted that he and Spencer didn't work out.

"Thanks Aid."

The atmosphere in the room seemed to have shifted in to a much lighter tone. "So she really hasn't called you at all since Sunday?"

I smiled because Aiden was trying to make the best from the worst situation. He really was a good guy. "Nope" I said casually, although I'm sure Aiden caught the slight bitterness in my answer.

"Well hey, don't sweat it soldier" he nudged me slightly before continuing "I'm sure she'll call soon. It's like I said, you two are best friends. I mean seriously, how long can a girl go without speaking to her bestie right?"

I laughed and shook my head at the fact that Aiden used the word 'bestie' and he said it with a very school-girl type tone to it.

"I hope you're right" I said absently, still worrying about Spencer, Aiden and the entire situation that had just unfolded.

Aiden stood up off of the couch and began walking to the front door, obviously leaving for the night. "I know I'm right Ash." I opened the door for him and leaned against the frame, meeting his sad eyes. "She needs you" he finally said and then turned to walk away.

I let out a long jagged breath and shut the door walking back towards the living room. Never before had I felt such heavy heartedness. I was tempted to call Spencer again and leave yet another pointless voicemail, but I would do as Kyla suggested, and give her some space and time. I just hoped she wouldn't leave it too long.


End file.
